28 Traits of a True Gasparilla Pirate Patron

By: @TampaKaity

Whether you’re a born and bred Bay Area native….

Or an 813 transplant that has established deep residential roots over time….

There is one local trait that all the fine folks in Tampa are particularly proud to claim signature on. And no, albeit utterly shocking, it’s not the Tampa Bay Buccaneers. (Gasp!) Obviously! – The trademark event that makes this west-central chunk of Florida worth bragging about is none other than the city’s most timeless treasured tradition – Gasparilla!

23a1a1a78cc27446a99375802f1d3d67Undoubtedly, the infamous Saturday pirate fest brings out the best of the Tampa Bay community. Swashbucklers of all ages, from all across the “Sunshine State”, for a full-fledged pirate takeover of Bayshore Boulevard, but tried and true Tampanians keep the salty spirit alive all year long! And thus, when you’re in the T-Bay area, it’s fairly easy to weed out the riff raff of rookies from the true pirate-hearted pros – those who are also part of an elite group of “Top Gun” Gasparilla-goers that:

1)  Consider Gasparilla their favorite “holiday”

2) Are not the least bit offended by words like wench, scallywag, and scurvy

3) Habitually get the “(Yo-Ho) A Pirate’s Life for Me” song stuck in their head

4) Assume they’ll have at least one “ex” encounter the day of the parade

5) Cheer for the Tampa Bay Bucs primarily because of the team’s mascot

Carolina Panthers vs Tampa Bay Buccaneers - December 26, 20046) Simply cannot visit the Magic Kingdom without going on the Pirates of the Caribbean ride

7) Refer to Mardi Gras beads as Gasparilla beads

8) Hate the taste of rum but drink it anyway

9) Have at least one (probably more) pirate-themed Christmas ornament

5fee2f9d81e3419f96e81a8a6a6f176110) Own a Camelbak, but have never worn it on a hiking trail

11) Have never, and will never call the trademark event “Gaspy”

12) Request the day off the Monday following Gasparilla

13) Keep a running countdown of the number of days until the invasion

IMG_577214) Religiously check the weather forecast for Saturday everyday for the entire week prior

15) Don’t dare step foot in the Bayshore Publix the day of the parade

up-OHSI44HC7ECQP57F16) Forfeit the bars and parties on pirate invasion Friday

17) Start planning a Gasparilla outfit before a New Year’s Eve ensemble

18) Find it completely normal for men to wear eyeliner on occasion

19) Have never actually uttered the phrase “Gasparilla Pirate Festival”

20) Wouldn’t be caught dead attending the night parade

21) Hang a pirate-themed wreath on their front door

43478e078a4c8f9197959e96c27f812022) Are on a first name basis with the bartenders at Gaspar’s Grotto

insidebar_w64023) See nothing wrong with women wearing corsets as tops

24) Genuinely enjoy the smell of gun powder

25) Judge people who actually purchase beads at the parade

edit_Gasparilla 2011 (199)26) Are partial to one particular letter in the alphabet

pirateencyclopedia_fullpic_artwork27) Look for potential places to live based on geo-vicinity to Bayshore Blvd.

28) Name their boat based on pirate lingo

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