28 Traits of a True Gasparilla Pirate Patron
By: @TampaKaity
Whether you’re a born and bred Bay Area native….
Or an 813 transplant that has established deep residential roots over time….
There is one local trait that all the fine folks in Tampa are particularly proud to claim signature on. And no, albeit utterly shocking, it’s not the Tampa Bay Buccaneers. (Gasp!) Obviously! – The trademark event that makes this west-central chunk of Florida worth bragging about is none other than the city’s most timeless treasured tradition – Gasparilla!
Undoubtedly, the infamous Saturday pirate fest brings out the best of the Tampa Bay community. Swashbucklers of all ages, from all across the “Sunshine State”, for a full-fledged pirate takeover of Bayshore Boulevard, but tried and true Tampanians keep the salty spirit alive all year long! And thus, when you’re in the T-Bay area, it’s fairly easy to weed out the riff raff of rookies from the true pirate-hearted pros – those who are also part of an elite group of “Top Gun” Gasparilla-goers that:
1) Consider Gasparilla their favorite “holiday”
2) Are not the least bit offended by words like wench, scallywag, and scurvy
3) Habitually get the “(Yo-Ho) A Pirate’s Life for Me” song stuck in their head
4) Assume they’ll have at least one “ex” encounter the day of the parade
5) Cheer for the Tampa Bay Bucs primarily because of the team’s mascot
6) Simply cannot visit the Magic Kingdom without going on the Pirates of the Caribbean ride
7) Refer to Mardi Gras beads as Gasparilla beads
8) Hate the taste of rum but drink it anyway
9) Have at least one (probably more) pirate-themed Christmas ornament
10) Own a Camelbak, but have never worn it on a hiking trail
11) Have never, and will never call the trademark event “Gaspy”
12) Request the day off the Monday following Gasparilla
13) Keep a running countdown of the number of days until the invasion
14) Religiously check the weather forecast for Saturday everyday for the entire week prior
15) Don’t dare step foot in the Bayshore Publix the day of the parade
16) Forfeit the bars and parties on pirate invasion Friday
17) Start planning a Gasparilla outfit before a New Year’s Eve ensemble
18) Find it completely normal for men to wear eyeliner on occasion
19) Have never actually uttered the phrase “Gasparilla Pirate Festival”
20) Wouldn’t be caught dead attending the night parade
21) Hang a pirate-themed wreath on their front door
22) Are on a first name basis with the bartenders at Gaspar’s Grotto
23) See nothing wrong with women wearing corsets as tops
24) Genuinely enjoy the smell of gun powder
25) Judge people who actually purchase beads at the parade
26) Are partial to one particular letter in the alphabet
27) Look for potential places to live based on geo-vicinity to Bayshore Blvd.
28) Name their boat based on pirate lingo
